the 'happenings' in my mundane life

hmm, it seems that most of my entries are complaints about stuff? haha. oh well, but perhaps the bad stuff is always easier to remember. anyway, on with the complaint.

i saw my 'friend's' nick that had the word 'Farrell' and 'sauve', so i assumed she went to the premiere which was so very near my school. so i asked, and it turned out yeap, she went. and so i asked, why didn't you inform me? its obviously something huge. oh, its because you weren't online, and you aren't of the same cellphone network subscriber as me. in other words, your chance to see colin farrell and jamie foxx in person is even less than 50 cents. yes, it cost under 50 cents to just send a fucking sms to me.

i know i shouldn't be that angry, but come on! anybody would have known that we (the common people who can't see hollywood stars at all) or i for that matter, would love to see colin farrell. its such a hard chance to come by! but no, 1 sms is too expensive to inform you. seriously, i could have even paid you back the 50 cents and more! any friend would have sms-ed (hence the '' up there in the entry). pffft.

i've complained to my other friend, and she said i should sabotage something of that 'friend's' stuff. put toothpaste in her shoe or something. haha. mean, but nah. i won't do such stuff. i think i really need to calm down.

different people has different priorities, and so, they won't spend money (however little it is at times) on whatever i would have deemed necessary. but i hope, that within that set of priorities, lies some form of basic courtesy. making me wait a whole afternoon (another incident whereby 1 sms was too expensive again), checking my cellphone and msn repeatedly until i was giddy, is definitely not basic courtesy. and when i complained, it was as if it was my fault, for not giving an answer immediately (although she said i could give an answer the next day!). thanks for the wrong information, that certainly made my day. blah.

i don't know why this happens to me ALL THE TIME. everytime i really, really wanna do something, something gets screwed up and i can't do it. what is wrong with my life!? cept yes, i'm really grateful and happy that i got the honours that i wanted.

my next-new-best-friend as the group likes to call her, just informed me that she'll be cancelling her summer sessions with UCLA cos she's sick. i understand that, and seriously i think it'll be best if she stays in singapore, cos that's quite a bad infection she got there.

but said that, this has really left me in a bad situation. firstly, the hotel i and her are going to share, will have to be cancelled. i won't have anyone to accompany for the first day, and this is USA we're talking about, i don't want to get lost or get mugged or raped or whatever!! and i can't possibly afford the room all by myself. so where am i going to sleep for these 5 nights? sigh .. i don't know what to. i can bunk in with another group of friends, 4 in a room (that's really squeezy), i don't think they can squeeze me in. and i'll have to sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag amongst highly dirty carpeted floors. many reviews said the carpets were yucky. but they'll only be checking in 1 day later than the date i'm supposed to check in.

and then, she's also my hotel roomie for the tour after term ends, so, there goes my much anticipated tour. i really wanted to stay in the luxor hotel in las vegas, i mean, during those dates i wanted to go, its so freakin cheap! as compared to other times of course. and i really wanted to tour las vegas, see all those fanciful hotels and san francisco. but nevermind, the whole plan is gone.

so, that's about how fucked up my life is. i know there are other people out there who has gotten it worse, but to me, i've really had it enough with not getting what i want, even after months of planning! and its gotten me all freaked out and panicky, i'm having a headache and chestache now. BLAH. just great.

yes yes! i know! i've got honours! i actually managed to get honours (2nd lower) although i'm an average C student. wheeeeeee! i'm really quite happy .. i wasn't really expecting honours since i've really got many Cs and 2 Ds, but i was still hoping to scrape it.

hehe, i've still not informed my parents though. luckily i've got this honours, otherwise my dad would surely kill me. he's been very nice by not yelling at me for all the Cs, all he wanted me to get was at least honours. woohoo! PHEW!

okay, i received the results yesterday, but i'm only writing it today cos it didn't occur to me to write it here. i'm supposed to write it in my diary, hmm, maybe i'll copy and paste later. hehe.

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. after years and years of procrastination, i've finally found the guts to highlight my hair. erm, i've kept my base colour of VERY dark brown, highlighted with some brown and violet. my sister and the hairstylist kept telling me violet is NOT red and is purple, but after highlighting, it STILL looks red. oh well. don't like the red, hopefully it'll fade to brown soon, hehe.

2 more weeks before i'm flying off to USA. and to tell the truth, i ain't excited or anything, i'm actually dreading it. argh. hostel life, i don't think i like that 1 bit. but my friend who is on an exchange to shanghai, is like staying in a 5 star hotel. she has her own private bathroom, aircon and tv. WTH!? if only i went there instead.

after like 2 hours of chatting with 2 other girls on the msn about the possibility of going to LA earlier and extending, i really feel like quitting. feel like pulling out of the summer programme.

everybody seems anxious to rush back to school to attend 1st week lectures, which personally, i feel is crap. 1st week lectures always use 75% on introducing the lecturer himself and the rest for some basic introduction. i know i know, talking like this sounds very selfish and not understanding, i know some people would like to study hard, afterall its their last year or something. but it just frustrates me because i won't be able to enjoy, hence the ranting. i'm not bashing anybody.

and then i thought we were slightly agreed on the notion of going to LA early, and then free & easy there, you know, go to Disneyland or Knott's Berry Farm. but then, 1 girl decides to go tour 1st, while the other might not want to go early cos it seems that the UCLA ID card entitles the students to some discounts.

sigh, i really feel like pulling out. everything seems to be against me. i'm not angry at the people, i'm just frustrated that everthing isn't running smoothly. i really shouldn't have had the mindset that everybody would definitely extend 1 week just because we're spending crazy money on just 6 weeks of studies there. i shouldn't have assumed that everybody would be flexible on stuff. argh! i'm just ruining it all by myself.

i really should have learnt my lesson, like 4 years ago. dammit! when will i learn!?

or maybe i should stop being such a brat. should just follow the masses and tag along.

but haven't i always been doing that? sigh.

i really feel stupid for joining this stupid summer prog, spending so much just for some tiny experience, CRAP! CRAP CRAP CRAP! ARGHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh.

and great, my air-con decides to go cranko on me now. just what i need.

fuck it all!

yes .. sob. i'm sobbing because many people (who are going on the summer studies trip to UCLA) might not be extending that extra week. 'might not' hardly describes it, because its more likely that THEY WON'T.

we're spending so much for just 6 weeks! it'll be so much more worth it if we extended 1 week purely for exploring the other places like las vegas or san francisco. sigh .. if only i could persuade them .. like right now. to keep myself from being so anxious and worrying.

i've been going through a list of hotels in las vegas, and i've decided, that i definitely wanna stay in 1 of those beautiful hotels! a hotel with a theme. hoho. they're so pretty! i'm going to enter every one of the themed hotel and take loads of pictures. i also want to stay at The Venetian, it costs quite alot. but if 2 people share the cost, i'm sure we can manage? sigh .. but i'm getting ahead of myself again. cos not everyone would be willing to stay in an expensive place, when the main purpose is just to SLEEP.

but its such a waste if you go all the way there, and not pamper yourself. i'd spend on the hotels in LV, but the hotel while I'm in san franciso could be something cheap.

i'm having such a migrain now, and i think today's praying session is the culprit. all that smoke made me gag (and i kept holding my breath) and nearly melted my eyes! and it was such a hot day. well, actually not a hot day, cos it was quite windy. but the smoke and heat made it unbearable.

i think i shall sleep early today.

i just came across an entry on a set of journal moods that is entirely fanart, and oh, i love the drawings! but how on earth do i change the bloody thing!?

can someone please help me? please!

bah, between the time i left my room and discussing which colour i should get for my top (yellow or green? and only like 3 minutes.) with my sister; the spree closed. aww, that was too quick! and here i wanted to quickly pay, hopefully a first-pay-first-get basis. yeah i know, that was bitchy of me, but i really wanted to try the top! oh well, until next time then. -growl-

not quite in a good shape lately. always feeling lethargic and i get giddy so easily. i think i'm going to have a heart attack soon. i only hope that i'll die quickly, and not drag on for years and years in the hospital before i die. brrr. i really don't want that. feh, maybe i should really, really make an effort to wake up early and exercise. if only i had more eager friends who are willing to play captain's ball with me (yeah i know, i'll need MANY friends for this game). gawds, but i really miss my old school days where we had PE, it was such fun.

or is it crazy me? i hate it when i dream of bees sub-consciously. i don't really know how to put it, as in i'm semi aware of my surroundings yet still dreaming. and yes, i dreamt of a bee/wasp buzzing near me again.

and as usual, i screamed for my mum to come help me see if there's a bee on my head. i dared not move at all. bah, it was quite a strain on my neck. i was so tired! and yet had to be scared stiff by a non-existant bee! grr.

i'm finally feeling really contented with life, or in life; since my 'depression' days in year 2005. not because its a new year and stuff, but i just feel more relaxed and, well, content. i've got all the material possessions i want (although of course i would like to have more), and school work has been lessening already since the project is finishing.

really, i don't know why i'm feeling this content. has the school work really been the culprit behind my 'depression'? that would be odd, since i've been through many other days with similar or worse workload and i was still fine. hmm, actually, i can't tell what's the real reason for feeling down, it just came all of a sudden, and lasted for so many months. i've tried retail therapy and those buys are usually useless products and a waste of money, and the therapy don't last long! haha.

ah well, i hope my happy feeling would continue tomorrow, cos if i don't get the timetable i want, i think i'm going to feel down again for a while. bah.

and since its 2006, i'll be graduating soon. so it'll mean that i'll get career worries soon.

digress abit. today i watched 'A Chinese Tall Story'. they are really the most handsome Tripitaka; Sun Wukong; Zhu Ba Jie and Sha Sheng i've ever seen. -swoon- but why on earth do the 3 disciples only have like 6 minutes of screen time!? grrrrrrr.